Find Freedom Through Curiosity

I often refer to curiosity as bringing more fluidity into life. Here, fluidity is not just a feeling, but an experience of being more open to ourselves and the circumstances around us. It's about allowing life to happen, being present and responsive to it, and having an active relationship with it, whether it be in work, relationships, meditation, or anything we're engaged with. The opposite of fluidity is rigidity of ideas, beliefs, and how we wield control upon ourselves and others.

I understand that it can be difficult to let go of control, especially when we're facing a serious problem. Our natural human tendency is to try to control the situation and make it better. While it's important to address and improve upon our personal and collective struggles, it's crucial to recognize the difference between working in a fluid and open way with challenges, versus a more rigid and controlling way.

For me, curiosity is a state of mind, a state of being, where I prioritize living from more questions rather than answers. It’s important to develop a way of living that doesn’t require a conclusion or solution to everything all of the time. Sometimes, I notice that I get wrapped up in ruminating thoughts where I'm projecting a reality into the future or catastrophizing that something bad is going to happen. If I see something going wrong in my life, I might think that it's only going to get worse. To me, these are all examples of being anti-curious. Instead, a curious mind is open to all possibilities, acknowledging that there can be many options available within any given situation.

As a meditator, we can cultivate this curiosity through strengthening awareness, which allows us to bear witness to the mind, body, and external phenomena around us. This raw awareness gets blocked by fixed beliefs, projections, and identities, but can be improved upon through continued practice and connection to awareness.

Through the cultivation of raw and open awareness there's a way to open up to curiosity without using the conceptual thinking mind - we can simply be and bear witness. When we are able to experience that space of fluidity, whether it's for brief moments or larger parts of our day, there's a sense of curiosity because we're not looking for an answer, we're just being present to what is.

We can also invite curiosity into our lives through open conceptual questions. Short phrases of curiosity like "is it really like that?" or "is this all there is to this?" can help. I often ask myself questions like "is this person always like this?” when I’m struggling with a difficult person or communication, as we can quickly form limiting beliefs about ourselves and others.

I don't know anyone who is the same all of the time. We can all act both skillfully and unskillfully, but none of us are a permanent and unchanging being. So when we ask questions like, "Is how I’m perceiving this person all they are?" or "Is there more to them than what I can see?” or "I wonder how they are with their family, or outside of work, or when they're less stressed?" - whatever questions we can ask to open up our perception about others, to me, this is a form of generosity. This is a form of love. It's a form of respecting others. I think this is in short supply these days.

So some practical tips here: I recommend starting to bring this practice of curiosity in either through open awareness or through gentle open questions, ideas, or thoughts to open up our perception and beliefs. I recommend first working with this towards yourself, as when we hold limiting beliefs about ourselves we most likely hold limiting beliefs about others (and vice versa). We want to suffer less, we want to help others to suffer less, and we want to open up to more fluidity. So how do we do that? We start becoming more curious.

The opposite of curiosity is judgment. It's when we get rigid about our conscious and unconscious beliefs about ourselves and others. I am using the word belief because belief isn't just an ideology we hold. Once an idea has become solidified, it’s become a belief. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s bad. Without even simple beliefs there’s no way we can get through the day. So we all have beliefs. Problems come when our beliefs become rigid, inflexible and turn into judgments.

Now, I want to be clear here. I use the word judgment in two different ways. 1. We can use the word judgment to represent taking a decision based on a given set of information we’re receiving. These kinds of judgments are almost impossible to avoid, as we all need to make many different kinds of decisions each day. I wouldn't call those kinds of judgements limiting.

So this judgment or discernment of taking a decision is fine, we all have to do that, 2. but this extra judgment where we limit ourselves in our beliefs about the world, our own worth, and the worth of others can be quite intense and cause a lot of pain. I've noticed that a lot of my pain is related to this.

Usually, when I get upset with someone or a situation it’s not because of any particular discernment I’m having, but rather because of a limiting judgment that causes anger or attachment to increase. Whether I’m able to see it in the moment or not, this eventually causes me pain. So, when I'm struggling with something or someone I try to become curious as a remedy to judgment. This has the ability to open up more freedom, as it leads to compassion and a more open dimensional way of living.

So in what ways do you want to bring more curiosity into your life? I recommend trying out a few of the ideas presented here. If you’ve been meditating for a while, perhaps you have a connection to meditative awareness and can bring in a sense of curiosity through awareness. If not, try some open questions. Open questions are powerful interrupters when we apply them in key moments. As always, feel free to reach out and let me know how your practice/experiments in curiosity are going.