Finding Joy In the Process of Meditation

A More Process-Oriented Approach

A more process-oriented approach to meditation can help us to deal more skillfully with resistance, stagnation, consistency, and can even bring more joy (yup!) in practice.

A common phrase we’ve all heard is “it's not about the destination but rather about the journey.” Although cliche a bit, it still rings true!

This quote has been meaningful to me in that I believe in adopting a process-oriented approach to a consistent daily meditation practice and learning how to ride the journey as opposed to getting caught up in craving the results.

When I first started my meditation journey I was being introduced to the traditional Buddhist path. A path that not only included techniques and practices, but their purpose and meaning. This included how we progress within those practices and how we move towards a nature that's more awake, suffering less, and maybe even towards this thing we call enlightenment.

Along with precious teachings and transmissions, this also included copious stories of what a “perfect” practitioner looks like within traditional Buddhism. So early on there was a lot of stars in my eyes and a lot of ideas of what I thought meditation should look like, or what I thought I should be getting out of it.

What I found over time is that by focusing too much on the types of results I was getting (or more likely not getting) I was simultaneously experiencing less joy in my practice, more fear, and less confidence. At the time these were also keeping me stuck in fixed expectations about what I “should” be experiencing after a session of practice, or what progress looks like over time.

All of this said, I do not want to imply that results aren’t important. Results are important, as we need some way to measure if something is working or not. But what kind of measure of results are we going to rely on?

We need to check our own experience. How much mental energy are we spending on what we think results should look like as opposed to using our energy to deepen our connection to the process of meditation? Are we using our mindfulness and energy to embody our practice throughout the day (as best we can), or are we ruminating in judgment around all the ways we aren’t “doing it right”?

Embodying the Dharma doesn't look like getting good at a technique. Getting good at a technique is very dry, where when we embody the Dharma we are actively transforming our behaviors through joyous perseverance. It’s within this space that we are able to move through obstacles, experience more connection with others, and access more fluidity within our thoughts and emotions.

Just Show Up

The first tip I’d like to share is to just show up. A dear friend of mine once told me that when she meditates she “just shows up.” I found this precious advice at the time (about 15 years ago) as I was struggling a lot with my practice. The whole idea is to put more emphasis on the practice of showing up consistently to meditation and setting our expectations low for any short term results.

Don’t Try To Get It Perfect

This leads me to the second point which is not trying to be perfect at meditation. Perfectionism is a habit many of us struggle with these days (🙋🏻‍♂️😬), and of course why wouldn’t perfectionism also effect our meditation practice. Meditation practice is just that, a practice, so we need to remind ourselves (often) that we’re just showing up to practice and there’s no need to get anything “right”.

Don’t Look For Short Term Results

The third main point is not to look for short-term results. At some point we we need to be seeing some results and what I would recommend around that is to study the Dharma and to specifically see what the Dharma implies or says a path should look like as we move on it, because every meditation doesn't have the same results.

For instance, if we're working on meditative awareness some of the results are that we are able to calmly abide in awareness for longer periods of time, and within that we're able to have more fluidity and flexibility with our thoughts and emotions throughout the day. So those are some results we can see from meditative awareness practice, but those are not short-term results. So in this third tip I'm suggesting to not look for short-term results.

Meditation Doesn’t Always Have To Feel Good

The last one is probably one of the more important ones which is that meditation doesn't always have to feel good.

So probably if you're like me you get caught in this from time to time. We may fall into the thinking pattern that if meditation isn't feeling good we're doing something wrong. I've found this way of thinking to be false, as what meditation is actually doing (from a Buddhist perspective) is helping us to shift or transform who we are in the world and how we relate to our thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and actions.

On a deeper level this relates to our projections of ourselves and the world around us, as we are a participant, probably the main participant in creating our reality. So when we start to have some facility in seeing through our projections (both gross and subtle) there is a bitter-sweetness.

The sweetness relates to releasing old patterns that cause us suffering, the inner freedom that comes with that, and the beginning of our meditation practice really bearing fruit. The bitterness relates to seeing an open wound, to finally seeing our raw suffering. This isn’t always so easy to look at and or feel. So there are uncomfortable truths that we can learn to bear witness to with awareness and compassion, and our awareness and compassion mature over time.