Our Struggles Are the Path: On Meditation and Meeting Life As It Is

Many of us encounter roadblocks on our spiritual journey, be it in meditation, relationships, or daily life. These challenges can feel discouraging. But what if I told you these struggles, rather than roadblocks, can be stepping stones on the path itself?

This principle – that whatever obstacle or challenge we face, be it in meditation, relationships, or life itself,  is the very road we must travel on our journey of growth as human beings, as spiritual practitioners, and as connected members of a larger community –  can transform how we navigate these difficulties.

Some aspects of this might seem self-evident, even a bit cliché. But how often do we truly internalize this concept throughout the day? How often do we respond to struggles –  be it in meditation, relationships, or any facet of our spiritual journey – with genuine openness and mindfulness? Can we approach these difficulties with the understanding that they might, in fact, be the very path we need to walk?

This approach emerged in my own practice perhaps five or six years ago. It marked a significant shift – a move away from a "seeking mentality" towards a "process mentality." This meant embracing the present moment, working with whatever arose in front of me, and applying the Buddha's teachings – the Dharma –  to my everyday life.

There's a wealth of Buddhist teachers who echo this sentiment, and I've deeply benefited from their wisdom – too many to name here. But for me, this translated to a challenge: to approach as many moments in life as opportunities to learn and grow, as a process to be engaged with, rather than a problem to be solved. It meant viewing obstacles not as definitive answers, but as springboards for further inquiry.

Let's be honest – struggles often trigger resistance within us. I've noticed that this resistance creates a blockage, amplifying the very obstacle we're facing. Instead, I've begun to employ a different kind of questioning – not one seeking definitive answers, but one that fosters openness. It's about approaching challenges with a sense of curiosity,  rather than a fixed mindset that screams, "This is bad, I need to get rid of it!"

This approach, even though I'm certainly still a work in progress, has been instrumental in countering that initial resistance. It's opened new avenues for working with challenges in my meditation practice, my spiritual path, and indeed, in life itself. It's instilled a confidence that allows me to remember this principle more readily when faced with struggles, and it's shown me new ways to be open to life's experiences,  in all their complexity.

There's immense depth to be found in this approach.  On a practical level, the first step is to cultivate this questioning mind. When you notice tension or resistance building around a struggle – be it a long-standing issue or something that's just arisen – consider the nature of that struggle.

When faced with a struggle, consider asking a simple question: "What is this all about?"  This isn't about finding a definitive answer, but rather utilizing the amazing human capacity for open-mindedness.  By approaching the situation with curiosity, we can gather more information and even approach ourselves (or others involved) with greater compassion.

Asking open-ended questions about our struggles fosters not only openness and reduced resistance, but also compassion.  Compassion, in this context, refers to how we engage with and respond to suffering – both our own and that of the world around us. It's about moving away from resistance, overwhelm, and stress, which are demonstrably ineffective ways of dealing with problems.

Compassion allows us to soften the edges of resistance. It also enables us to step back, ask more questions, and examine the situation more deeply.  Let's break this down to a practical level, focusing on ourselves for now.

When we're struggling, there's a complex interplay happening. Emotions arise, we form beliefs and ideas around the situation, and there might even be physical tension in the body.  All of this stems from a particular perception we have – perhaps something we see, hear, feel, smell, or simply a memory that's surfaced.

In meditation, we learn to slow this process down. This is the essence of mindfulness – to become aware of our perceptions as they arise, without judgment. By observing our thoughts and feelings, we can create space for choice in how we react.  Because, let's be honest, our minds don't always present us with the most accurate picture.

This ability to slow down through mindfulness, which we cultivate formally in meditation, can also be applied informally to everyday struggles. When we encounter resistance, slowing down the situation allows us to see it more clearly.  And as compassion softens the edges of the struggle, new possibilities can open up.

One way I frame this is by promoting a "non-conclusion-based" life.  Now, this doesn't mean we abandon all decision-making.  We still need to pay bills, stay hydrated, and take care of ourselves and others.  However, a constant need for clear-cut conclusions can create unnecessary obstacles and amplify existing struggles.

By letting go of the attachment to a specific outcome, we can approach genuine challenges with less resistance.  We can navigate them with a sense of openness and curiosity, prepared to learn and grow from the experience. The goal is to cultivate greater openness and a wider perspective. Imagine a camera lens – it simply captures the image, without judgment or preference. The photographer, upon reviewing the photo, can then make adjustments.  Similarly, we can cultivate a neutral lens of awareness through meditation.

This awareness allows us to observe our thoughts and emotions without judgment.  Adding compassion to the equation softens the heart and fosters a sense of ease in the body.  This combination – open awareness and compassion – leads to a more skillful approach that benefits both ourselves and others.

We do need to make choices throughout the day – big and small, conscious and unconscious.  However, these choices needn't be driven by a need for fixed conclusions.  Making a choice isn't the same as reaching a definitive endpoint.  It's more about introducing another variable into the equation.

Here, Buddhist teachings can be immensely helpful.  They guide us towards understanding the root causes of suffering, allowing us to reduce them and cultivate the conditions for awakening and liberation.  Fluidity, in my experience, is a key aspect of this process.

Fluidity is the antithesis of resistance.  Think of water – ice is frozen water, but flowing water is not ice; it's not stuck or stagnant.  Similarly, the challenges we face aren't meant to create more "ice" – more resistance.  Instead, we want to learn how to melt the ice, allowing the water (our emotions, thoughts, and perceptions) to flow freely.  This fluidity extends to how we navigate relationships and all of life's situations.

And here's where struggle becomes the path.  We learn and grow through these challenges. A path is something we walk on, and a spiritual path is a practice – a framework of practices, perspectives, methodologies, and relationships.  It can be as simple or complex as we choose, but ultimately, it's the journey itself.  And on any journey, we encounter a variety of experiences – some pleasant, some unpleasant.  This is why fluidity and flexibility are crucial for navigating the path.

The inevitability of pain, dissatisfaction, and stress in human life is a reality we all share.  These are not detours from the path; they are part of the path itself.