Process Oriented Vs. Result Driven Meditation
The two biggest challenges I hear from the people I teach and mentor are:
Not having enough time to meditate and
Struggling to consistently meditate each day
I was recently leading a meditation workshop where a woman told me she wanted to have a regular meditation practice, but her days were so full that it was difficult to find even 5 minutes free to meditate.
I went on to ask her about her fears surrounding meditation, as I had an intuitive sense that her trouble was not only a time management issue, but an emotional one; where her fears of failure and expectations of how meditation “should be” we’re holding her back.
Though initially painful to see, this resonated with her, and we sat together for a moment acknowledging and holding this truth in compassion, as crippling fear and expectation also haunted me in my meditation practice for many years.
When I was first ordained as a Buddhist monk I was obsessed with finding the perfect environment to meditate in. I wasted a lot of time trying to create a meditation space that would allow me to have the perfect, most blissful meditation.
Eventually I noticed that no matter how good the conditions were that surrounded me, it was my mind that would always come up with reasons to avoid, procrastinate, and or crave something different.
After some years I realized that a lot of my procrastination was fueled by fear. Fears about “doing it right,” expectations of how I “should” feel after meditation, and anxiety about failing at it.
It took me sometime to unravel this mess, but now I am an enthusiastic believer in process oriented meditation as opposed to result driven meditation.
I find result driven meditation to be a dream killer, as when I’m focused on results, my mind has already created a limiting version of how I “should” feel after meditation, or what experiencing the Buddhist path “should” look like.
Process oriented meditation can offer so much more, as being mindful of our projections can help us to relax more into the journey and become more present and accepting of our current thoughts and emotions.
I also find curiosity to be a welcome friend of process oriented meditation, as when I can be curious and open to my present moment experience, rather than rushing to “get over it,” there’s much more room for compassion to arise and joy to be had in relation to where I might be getting stuck.
Here’s a few process oriented steps to explore and introduce into your next meditation session:
Upon sitting down to meditate, don’t rush into the practice. Take as much time as you need to feel and acknowledge your present moment experience.
If you find that you need some help settling down, take a few moments to engage a practice that will help you to settle your nervous system a little more. You can find some help in My “Best Of” Guided Meditations.
As part of your intention for your meditation session, consciously remember your aspiration to practice more as an observer of your experience rather than a commentator. Try to imagine how that might feel.
Now engage your main intention and practice and remember to stay curious in your mindful awareness. Feel free to come back to steps 1-3 as needed throughout your practice session.
