Shifting From My Suffering to There Is Suffering
As we continue to collectively face the consequences of the coronavirus spreading across the globe, no doubt, all of us (sick or healthy) are experiencing the uncomfortable results of this unfolding pandemic. My heart goes out to you and your loved ones in whatever way this has and will affect you.
At the beginning of March, I returned from a teaching trip to Spain. The trip went well, and although Spain was starting to experience a significant uptick of coronavirus cases, the alarm bells were also starting to go off in the United States.
I was able to return to New York just in the nick of time and before the travel restrictions started. I came back to a city in fear, and soon to be in deep crisis. A few days after I arrived, I began to experience symptoms that seemed to align with the coronavirus. At first, they were minor, chest pains, mild fever, but they soon progressed into extreme fatigue, a dry cough, night sweats, and chills.
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What followed was sixteen days of pain and uncertainty. I monitored my breathing daily to make sure I wasn't experiencing any life-threatening symptoms. After fourteen days, with fatigue worsening, I decided to visit an urgent care clinic. After taking X-rays of my lungs the doctor informed me I had minor pneumonia. He prescribed antibiotics and encouraged me to take Tylenol to control the fever. After two days, the medicines started to work, and after a few more days, I began to improve.
I am one of the lucky ones, and I feel incredibly grateful for that. Our human life is quite precarious. There is no guarantee that we will wake up alive the next day. Therefore using our human life meaningfully should be our top priority. Using our life meaningfully means to engage the dharma internally to liberate ourselves from the cycle of samsara, and to join the dharma externally in using our body and speech to benefit others. These two things go together, as the more we shed our ego-clinging, the more skillful we become at helping others.
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As I was struggling with pneumonia (and probably coronavirus), it was a real challenge to shift from thinking about my suffering to there is suffering. I found myself stuck in self-pity and frustration. Nonetheless, every day I would attempt to open my heart to others. I decided to engage in at least one practice per day aimed at relieving the suffering of others experiencing the coronavirus or any other illnesses. It was a time in the day I looked forward to, and even though it didn't alleviate my physical pain, it opened my heart and mind.
When we experience suffering, our habit is to constrict into dwelling on our suffering. We scour the news each day for a change in the coronavirus situation and how that relates to us. We devour articles on what to do if we fall ill. I realize that for some of us, this is a life or death situation, and we must take care, but we can quickly become quite neurotic when we let our fears run our life.
Fear is embedded in human life. When we look at the Buddhist path, most of it is a remedy for fear, and this gives us a huge clue. Fear and suffering are universal, so the challenge is to shift our obsession with my suffering to an acknowledgment that there is suffering.
There is suffering is a statement of a fact. It's the first teaching that the Buddha gave. He asked us to know suffering because when we understand suffering and cease avoiding it, we look for its cause. When we know its cause, then we can remedy it.
Acknowledging that there is suffering is a massive step in this process. It also takes us out of our self-enclosure, which is the root of suffering from a Buddhist perspective.
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So as we continue to experience the results of this current pandemic collectively, let's strive to acknowledge and have compassion for our collective suffering. From there, if we can do something to alleviate the pain of others, fantastic! This can include Buddhist prayers and practices to shift the causes and conditions of the pandemic. It can also include donations or direct service to those in need. For a lot of us, this mostly means to stay at home and to continue to practice social distancing.
So whatever you do, do it with an acknowledgment of our collective predicament. Whatever you do, do it with compassion.
