“How Do I Get Rid of My Thoughts When I Meditate?”
A common question I hear from students and strangers alike is “how do I get rid of my thoughts when I meditate?”
When I was a Buddhist monk I would often get this question as I was passing through an airport, ordering a coffee (yes, monks like coffee too), or standing in line for something.
One time I was in line waiting for a flight to board and a man asked me if I was a Buddhist monk (my bright red robes screaming it). I said “yes” with a smile. He went on to describe his longing to meditate but that every time he sat down to try he was overcome with thought rumination (sound familiar) and couldn’t stop his thoughts.
I’m not sure where he heard that in order to practice meditation he needed to be able to stop his thoughts, yet this was his predicament and he just assumed that meditation wasn’t for him. We went on to have a conversation about cultivating a healthy meditation practice based on training in mindful awareness and that thoughts weren’t actually the problem.
We don't have to get rid of our thoughts to have a successful meditation practice. Instead we can frame meditation as a practice of repeatedly connecting with our natural awareness. As we cultivate a deeper connection with our natural awareness we strengthen the capacity of mind that knows when we are thinking, and we can use that capacity to have a healthier relationship with the thinking mind.
There's a difference between getting rid of thoughts and knowing that thoughts are arising. In order to know we're thinking we can't sit there the whole time trying to block our thoughts. So I recommend that you do not block your thoughts.
Not only can blocking thoughts actually prevent genuine progress in meditation, it also creates a lot of tension and anxiety in our practice and we end up in a persistent war with our thoughts every time we sit down to meditate. I’ve also seen many students suffer because they think they are terrible at meditation just because they are thinking. What a shame that a bit of misinformation can prevent so many from experiencing genuine enthusiasm for meditation!
So if we're allowed to know that we're thinking, how do we meditate with thoughts? In meditative awareness practice (within the lineages I teach) we center awareness. When we center awareness it's not so much about blocking everything else out and pushing thoughts away, but more a training in:
Recognizing our natural awareness, which is a quality of the mind that knows its knowing. A quality of the mind that can bear witness to or become watchful of an object, thought, or experience.
We train in connecting with that watchfulness of mind so that our recognition and stability of it can grow stronger. We want to be able to access it quicker, easier, and for longer periods of time.
We’re allowed to know within that awareness because a thought does not block that awareness. I'll say that again. We're allowed to know within awareness because a thought does not block awareness. What blocks awareness is losing awareness, and that's what we call distraction in meditation.
Having a thought and knowing there's a thought does not mean we're distracted in meditation. Distraction is when we actually lose awareness. Distraction is when we have a thought, we follow after that thought, and that thought turns into another, and another, and suddenly we're ruminating in a whole story about yesterday or whatever is coming later today. In this sense knowing there's thought is not distraction, it's when we get carried away by thinking (and lose awareness) that we are distracted.
So what I recommend is to familiarize yourself with awareness. If you're newer to meditation this can be really challenging. So you may want to start your practice by simply bringing attention to the breath for short periods of time. Eventually the thinking mind and body will settle a bit and your natural awareness will become more recognizable.
I also recommend committing to a specific amount of time (10, 20, 30 min.) to commit to each day and train in awareness for short periods within that larger session. As your ability to calmly abide within the present moment grows, you’re natural awareness will become more clear.
